Thanks to Katharine Marvin, who sent these to me
- Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
- Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The
other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything."
- A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve
food in here."
- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
- A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"
- Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
Because it is below C level.
- An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look
- A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is
there any thing you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look
at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm
going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because
he's really heavy."
- Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
- I went to the butcher's the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't
reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
- A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor,
doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've
cut off your arms!"
- I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
- Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"